About 6-7 years ago I was in the real estate business working my tail off. I had finally decided it was time for myself to take Elder Oaks counsel in his talk, “Dedication of a Lifetime” and stop waiting around for a husband -but to progress in my life like a real deal adult. So if it was a career women I needed to be…I was gettin’ to it. This job was the epitome of the law of the harvest in action. I worked hard and it paid off – I even bought my first place and had a blast fixing up that milestone!
Now I’d worked hard before. I was taught well in that regard by my parents. However, as is my nature, I always did find a little joy in creating ways to get out of Saturday morning weeding assignments. However, any lesson that may have escaped me in my youth was surely drilled into me daily for the 18 months of my mission! But this kind of work…this whole career woman thing…this work was ridiculously draining! Yes, obviously so was the mission – but at least for those 18 months I was working for the salvation of souls! This kinda stuff was for financial gain (something that’s never been a huge motivating factor for me) – this was the kind of stuff I wanted to support a husband in doing…while I stayed home raising our children! (There is no feminist lady here…I’m all about being in that kitchen pregnant and barefoot!) Working 11 hour days was not my first choice in daily activity…but I did it. And later when I left this job I was grateful to know I possessed the skill set to do it again if my situation was in need of it.
Well one day I came home from this job and was SO glad I was a woman! So glad that this wasn’t going to forever be my destiny (at least my hope is that it’s not!) – sooo glad that we have roles as men and women and I intended to stick to them! I know every woman doesn’t get to be a stay-at-home mom…but it’s my hope that my situation will eventually allow for that. So in my assumption that the role of great, supportive, empathetic “Mrs.” would eventually come my way – I wrote myself a little reminder of how it feels to be in the “Mr.’s” shoes. I just came across it yesterday and found it pretty classic that I wrote this ‘note to self’ 7 years ago! Here it is:
Appreciate that he goes to work. Some days work sucks and is hard and I want to quit it and forget about all my potential as a career driven person. I want to throw in the towel and take the easy way out. And when I come home, I’m tired and just want to be loved. I don’t want to hear complaints or even talk sometimes. I worked hard, somedays I get no where doing that, and I want to come home and feel appreciated and loved. So I can only imagine Mr.? will feel the same way. Even if he is in a job that he thouroughly enjoys – he will still come home exhausted from a long days work. Don’t be too busy for him. Stop what your doing and greet him, and prepare a nice meal for him. Make him feel that his home is a haven to come home to. It will help him to leave work at work, and he’ll enjoy anticipating coming home to you.
Especially right after he gets home from work don’t bombard him with the complaintive details of your long day. Let him have some down time in his home and he will want to be there and be with you.
It’s hard being in a situation where you are responsible for so many things, and so many other people can screw it up. Encourage him that he can do it and that you believe in him. Listen to his ideas and build him up. He leaves to work with what you give to him. Make him believe in himself because you believe in him. Appreciate him and the fact that he gets up and goes to work every day to provide a nice life for you and your family. Serve him and love him, and let him be tired sometimes. Take care of him Trissy…you better!!!
I believe there are some bits of truth in that. Take note future supportive wifey’s! xoxo