Oh I can hardly wait to review the great talks that were given this last weekend during General Conference. Along with the theme of just being good and nice like our mama’s taught us – I felt like there was a lot of talk about family! And oh so much, for those of us that are preparing for our future families. I gotta admit, it’s my favorite when we get a talking to that leaves no room for misunderstanding. Give it to me straight and say it to my face! The talks given this conference reminded me of an old fav. with lots of bits of genius…
About 4 years ago, President Shumway told us to “Get Real in Preparing for Marriage.” This message was first given at a BYU-Hawaii Devotional I believe. He wondered why so many of us at marriageable age were putting off the big event. One single adult he quoted said,
“There are basic reasons young people postpone marriage, “fear, fun, and focus elsewhere.”
I was cracking up when Pres. Shumway compared us to the lost boys of Never-Never Land, never wanting to grow up.
“Others postpone marriage because they are perpetually enchanted by their own carefree life of fun, eating out, hanging out, surfing, parties, sports, and video games. Like Peter Pan, they want to stay young and adventuresome with other lost boys. They are fundamentally self-focused and self-indulgent. One of their problems is that they don’t think they have a problem.”
I’d like the world to know that I proudly declare myself and try to be as Molly Mormon as they get. Glad to know that I’ve at least got Pres. Shumway and my Mama in my corner on this one.
“I have heard girls who were looking for “fun” say sarcastically, “I don’t want to date a boy scout.” Just as I’ve heard boys say just as sarcastically, “I don’t want to date a Molly Mormon.” Depending on your definition of “Boy Scout” or “Molly Mormon,” the tone here of course is mockery and contempt. …Good “Boy Scouts” make good husbands and fathers, true “Molly Mormons” make good wives and mothers.”
Sometimes when I set men up they tell me they don’t want some ‘crazy’ girl like their last girlfriend. I’m always quick to let them know that all girls are crazy…some just hide it better than others! But that’s not to be discouraging – it’s the simple truth. You get a girl in a situation where she’s lacking the security and confidence she needs…you’re going to see crazy. But don’t worry – with the right girl you’ll find the right rhythm and know how to lead her in your dance if you want to. And hopefully she’s wise and mature enough to know how to handle her emotions (at least 3 out of the 4 weeks of the month!)
“…cultivate a cheerful attitude, the ability to laugh, even at yourself. A sour face and a grumpy disposition is truly a gruesome burden that we impose of roommates and other people, especially in marriage. Get a handle on your moods. Learn how to act better than you feel. One might ask, “Well isn’t that hypocritical?” Certainly not. You may not be able to chose how you feel, but you can choose how you act.”
You gotta love the last piece of advice Pres. Shumay gives to us. I’ve never really understood the mindset of ‘saving’ someone and the desire to date a ‘project.’ I’ve had many boys tell me that they were confused as to why they always found themselves dating a girl that was a ‘project.’ When I’ve asked them why they think they are attracted to that I’ve heard responses such as, “I think I like that she needs me and I can help her.” Well boys…let me tell you another little bit of genius that I 110% know to be true. You don’t need to seek out needy. All girls are needy and trust me that your wife will show you more often than you probably desire that she ‘needs’ you and your help! Boys…girls…why in the world are we out seeking for the trouble that will no doubt rear it’s ugly head in time??!! I don’t get it. Neither does Pres. S…
“I heard of one exasperated bishop recently telling his enmaried Relief Society sisters, referring to certain problematic single brethren: “Sisters, don’t get involved with a ‘project.’ I am fearful for girls who date troubled brethren and fall in love with the idea of saving them. If you date a “project,” go steady with a “project,” you will marry a “project.” Unfortunately, too often the “project” becomes the force that consumes the so-called rescuer. The rescuer becomes a victim. Now some of you sisters might think that if women didn’t marry “projects.” there wouldn’t be many more marriages. That’s not quite true although a good, righteous man is a rare commodity.”
Ohhh but what fun in finding that rare commodity…kind of like finding rubies…isn’t there a scripture that talks about that? I should know cause red is my favorite color and rubies are red. (note to self: find ruby scripture and memorize…or at least be able to quote it accurately.)