This ain't her daddy...although she might call him "Big Poppa"
Well I do believe I came across the answer on how to make all you 35 year old+ men who love the ‘barely legal’ ladies – successful in your dating pursuits. You are all welcome. Send me an invite to the party!
While continuing my study of the talk by Hugh Pinnock, “Ten Keys to Successful Dating and Marriage Relationships” I came across this gem: (my own assumptions in red)
Let me tell you a story about a man who received his PhD from this institution {BYU}. We had known this person for a number of years. He married later than many {my guess is at least 35}, and as we watched him relate with a young woman {what do you think?…19…20?}, we wondered if she could keep up; we wondered if she had the capacity to understand life as he had learned it because he was more than several years older. Then, as we observed that couple at social functions and elsewhere, we saw that he would take time to carefully instruct her. As he returned from classwork, he would bring home books for her to read and to study. As they took long walks, they were constantly teaching each other. What a beautiful marriage and what a lovely family they now have because they have taken the time to compliment and to build each other! They are serving now in the mission field together, there because of his sensitivity and because of her sensitivity, there because they desire to build one another.
These two made their generation gap work…so maybe there is an ounce of hope for you men famished with that ‘Yunger Hunger’? All joking aside I think he has a valid point to recognize that in lots of ways you aren’t going to be equals in a relationship at first with this kind of age gap. I mean trust me – I thought I was all sorts of mature at 21 when I dated someone 10 years older than me…but the fact is that was a big age gap! You are at two completely different stages in life…you just are! Wisdom and emotional maturity come with age. When you’re in your 30′s and she practically just had her Quinceañera…things aren’t going to be full of depth for the two of you. However – with a little instruction, sensitivity, and guidance your teeny bopper’s wisdom can grow… and equals, partners, and companions you can become! Oh won’t your mother be thrilled to hear she can finally stop praying for you to marry… ya old geezer! Go find yourself a freshman…I approve!!! Whoo-hoo!
ps: I haven’t come to my full conclusion when it comes to you aggressive Cougars. I’ll let you know when I have.
DON’T ENCOURAGE THEM!
Ha- They’re going to do it anyway…so might as well show them how to go about it to make it successful so they don’t end up with a wife that wants to take off 5 years into a marriage to go ‘experience’ the world. I think if these men helped their relationship be more of a learning companionship like the couple quoted in the talk it would be more rewarding for all. When I came across this it was insight I had not yet thought of and I like it…but girl…I know what you mean – no encouragement is needed in this regard! xoxo
Tristen,
Once again you are spot on. Marriage is hard enough without having to raise your wife along side the kids (or a husband either). Perhaps for every success story of generation gap unions there are a million failures. Sometimes it just states more about the guy than most of us want to know.
If my husband brought home books for me to “catch up” to him, I might find myself lingering for missed moments during the tough times (and trust me, EVERYONE gets their fair share of tough times). Part of the fun is that both of you will become old and worn-out together!!! You will get to spend time talking of how your bodies are BOTH falling apart, not a very fun one-sided conversation to have with your young bride. Plus it is not too romantic to be the only one of you two who is in need of a diaper change. My apologies in advance to “true younger love”, because I do believe that “true love” can move mountains and valleys of years.
xoxoxo,
Your favorite Bridesmaid
Keep rocking my world Tristen!!!
Nothing makes me happier than to hear from you! I adore you…red pleather visions and all! xoxo