I had a crush. A big, fat, overwhelming, crush on a Doctor. I hadn’t even met him yet, but I was pretty sure he was the one. And my mom thought he was the one, and my best friend thought he was the one, and my neighbor thought he was the one. And then to make our destiny even more sure – when we finally met it was coincidentally outside of the temple! Previous to my temple session there had been a good looking guy that I was pretty sure was checking me out (which I always find hilarious…especially so on that night when I for reals was not looking very cute…but I ain’t complaining!) and then was waiting to meet me after outside! I mean if that didn’t set our story in stone I didn’t know what would.
So needless to say we were both looking forward to our first date. He had been told by 3 separate people that he had to take me out upon his recent move into town. These 3 people are big ‘Tristen’ fans, and no doubt made me sound like the catch of the century. Expectations were high for both of us.
We had talked a few times on the phone previous to going out and gained some rapport with one another. I felt like I could be myself, but I was definitely cautious of making a good impression on him. He picked me up and out we went. Dinner was gross, but the conversation was nice and I genuinely enjoyed myself. I learned a lot about him in those few hours. After dinner we went back to his house and talked more by the fire. Surprisingly he began to share some heavy stuff with me – conversation that was probably better saved for a later date, but regardless I was interested in him so I listened intently.
Previous to dropping me off I would have said that as far as awkward first dates go, this one was turning out to be a pretty big hit! And then he said something lame like, “I’ll see you around sometime.” Whoa….did not see that coming! I’ll be honest for the next few days I was perplexed as to why he wasn’t interested in a second date.
Soon after, I got over it and moved on to the next. I had heard some feedback from one of my ‘fans’ that had set us up. Apparently he was expecting some really outgoing, funny, vivacious girl…and all he got was a polite date. Classic!…there I was trying to put my best foot forward and not show him my overwhelming obnoxious side…and that’s the only side he wanted! Wow- had I got it all wrong. Ohh- the irony of it all. What did he want me to do??? It was a first date- I was partially nervous- we didn’t know each other at all?!
Well it gets even better because a few weeks later I saw the Doctor at some big social singles event. I was surrounded by my friends that I’m obviously comfortable and unfortunately at times obnoxious with. Doctor was all about it! That guy wouldn’t leave me alone. He even pulled me aside and said, “Wow, this is the Tristen I was told all about.” Then he proceeded to ask me out. Bless his poor little obnoxious seeking heart…I was over it.
I think of this story and laugh. I had soo gotten it all wrong! I thought I was playing my part perfectly, and he couldn’t have been less attracted. Here’s the lesson to be learned…It’s important to laugh at our dating mistakes! We will kill ourselves trying to be the perfect dater. I’ve had an overabundance of mess ups, but they don’t stop me from making more (on accident anyways…I try to learn from my mistakes but am a total repeat offender – just last week I had a real similar doozie!). Not every guy/girl is going to see what we hope they will see in us. Suffice it to say that most won’t. We are going to continue to be misunderstood like crazy, make the wrong first impressions, and not have a clue what is going on in their heads. So…I say laugh at it. It’s funny. And one day someone will see past your silly little embarrassing and awkward moments and think you’re practically just perfect for them!
I recently had a similar experience. In trying not to be my entirely crazy self I ended up coming across as uninterested, and lost out on getting to know a really great guy. I have kind of been beating myself up over it, but I guess you’re right. If it had been right he would have stuck around long enough to know the real me. Thanks for letting me know I’m not the only one who does this sometimes.