Today… unbeknownst to me I was set up on a blind date. A few years back I came to the conclusion that the people setting me up on blind dates did not share my talent for matchmaking – so I’d sworn them off. Well my friend promised it was for a good cause etc. -so I obliged. Well soon after, I got a text from him that was pretty flirty. I flirted back. (I’ll be honest…I am very very good with the flirting via the text when I want to be) Then this guy starts texting me about how good lookin’ I am and all this stuff. Immediately I thought, “Oh great he checked me out on fb.”
I told him looks can be deceiving and I’ve been told by more than 1 boyfriend that I’m better looking in pictures than in real life. (And fyi…I was not offended by that observation from past boyfriends. I was actually flattered – I like being photogenic. I look forward to sending off a really great engagement picture that my fiance can be really proud of one day!)
So here’s the problem with this situation. This guy doesn’t know me at all. By seeing a picture of me he’s already made some strong assumptions. Even though today’s assumptions are complimentary ones…they still put expectations in his head. People have got to start knowing how to go on a date without having expectations in mind. No I take it back…there should be ONE expectation in mind. You should go on every date expecting to have a great time. I believe that is the only expectation you have full control over!
So hopefully this guy thinks I’m as cute in real life as he does in my pictures?! I secretly want to wear no makeup and teach him a lesson (I’m not a natural beauty…and get over it boys…most girls aren’t.). – And truth be told, I know this guys name and could very well look him up and be on even ground with my own fb stalking. I’m not going to though – He’s got a clean slate with me. No expectations other than having a great time with him.
So the point of this story??? – Go into a date without any preconceived ideas about the person. Don’t check them out on facebook. In fact – don’t even become friends on fb till at least the 3rd date! Get to know the real person – not the image that’s portrayed be it good or bad.
Amen to all that. I’ve got a similar policy when it comes to blind dates. I know those times I’ve gone into the date truly blind I’ve been a lot more open to what might happen because I’m going into the evening with goal of having a great time.
When you go into a date blind I think you can have one of two mindsets: (1) “I hope this isn’t a waste of my time” or (2) “I’m going to make sure tonight is worth it”. Choosing that second thought, I think, puts you in a position where you’re less focused on yourself. You’re approaching a date (and a relationship) with something of a team mentality. (Is that weird?)
Anyway, great thoughts. Glad my FB Friend policy falls in line. Good luck!
This was a good read! I am SO guilty of trying to find out everything I can about a person before I even MEET them a lot of the time! I use the justification that I dont want to waste my time if he isn’t attractive, or have a profile that is appealing to me in other ways. But avoiding that will help with going into a date with a more open mind and not having these expectations conjured in my head! I too have been told I look better in person vs pictures (my sisters stole the photogenic genes), but MOST of the guys I have dated have the opposite! They look great in pictures, then in person its a whole different story. This is something I admittingly need help with! lol