Nothing is worse than breaking up. It really is hard to do! The heartbreak that comes from a true love dissolved is not something I would wish on my worst enemy. In my younger years prior to experiencing true love I use to pray and ask that I could experience what real love felt like. I figured it would be best for me to fall in love more than once, then I’d really know what I was experiencing when I’d meet my future spouse. Well if that wasn’t the dumbest thing to ask for I don’t know what was! Now I pray to not fall in love with anyone other than my future spouse cause I can’t take the break up…it bites! But it happens…and in some form or another it happens to all of us.
Starting to date again just might be even harder than the actual breakup. However, the longer you wait to get back in the game the worse it’s going to be. The longer we take to analyze over and over the ups and downs of a broken relationship the more damage we are going to cause ourselves. Cure the depression and get out there.
Last week I had an old friend contact me. She was close to marriage with a boy she’d dated for a few years. He for one reason or another still wasn’t ready to buy her a ring and seal the deal. She broke things off, and was hoping that immediately I could help her move forward by setting her up on a date. She was in no way looking for a rebound, and probably didn’t expect me to introduce her to her next boyfriend – she just knew she needed to go out on a date.
I can appreciate this kind of call for help and busily went about finding her a date for the weekend. I had a great guy that I knew would thrill at the chance to take someone out that I suggested, and so I told him to give her a call.
They went out tonight.
I just got off the phone with her- She sounded happy! I got a message from him- He couldn’t wait for the next set up! A success in my book. Sometimes we just need to put one step in front of the other and move the freak forward! Gotta get back in the game.
And one last little gem I’ve discovered – when our hearts hurt so badly because of some lost love, we are humble, we are vulnerable, and perhaps that’s exactly what some of us need to see people through a different set of eyes. Maybe with that kind of attitude going forward we will start dating the ones that we will actually end up with.
I really appreciate this advice. I’m recently divorced, and that was the hardest thing for me to do at first. I thoughtt I couldn’t date someone that I knew wasn’t “the one”. I live in at teeny tiny town, and know that no one here is going to be “the one”, and that really depressed me for a while. I felt hopeless until I realized that just getting out there and dating the “not-the-one-but-nice-anyway” guys will at least help me figure out who I am, and what I want, so when the right guy does come along I’ll be ready. And guess what? Dating is fun!:)
Katie- I seriously loved your comment! Your attitude is spot on perfect! The anticipation of getting back into the game is worse than actually doing it. When we stop thinking about how much we hate and fear about dating we quickly realize we’re just one of many feeling the same way. All it takes is one to show us the right kind of attitude and move forward, and it seems that much easier to follow! Way to be a great example of getting back in the game…even when it wasn’t your priority of choice! xoxo
The last line was the balm I needed to help me go forward with ‘What can I learn from this?’ and avoid the “Why?’
Thank you!