So this morning I was reading about the spiritual transformation that occurred with Zeeezrom in Alma in the Book of Mormon. Amulek and Alma teach powerful doctrine and we see how pure doctrine can change lives. I often think about what President Packer has taught regarding the revolution that a study of the gospel can bring about in our own lives.
“True doctrine, understood, changes attitudes and behavior. The study of the doctrines of the gospel will improve behavior quicker than a study of behavior will improve behavior.” (“Little Children” also “Do Not Fear“)
I absolutely love that bit of truth. Aren’t the majority of us trying to become something greater than we are? All the books in the world, (and trust me I like to read!) won’t take us there any quicker than a deep study of the doctrines of the gospel.
So now let me try to explain the connection that this has to dating and finding a spouse. I had a good friend call me up this week after I had contacted him to see if he was dating anyone. He is pretty much the ultra Mormon bachelor and literally any girls dream come true! I told him I was ready to help him find his wife. Quickly, he called me back. We briefly caught up and he told me how funny the timing of my text was. Just a day previous he had been watching a movie with his nieces and nephews and almost as if he was teetering on the edge of hopelessness uttered a quick prayer. “Heavenly Father, help me to find my wife. Help me to look for the right one.” He said it had been a long time since he said a prayer like that.
He explained to me that he felt he was finally ready to admit that perhaps he was looking for the wrong kind of girl. He definitely has no shortage of dating opportunities, yet he’s as single as he’s ever been. He professed that the girls he was continually pursuing were hot, fun to date, and a good time. However – very rarely could he picture himself building a future with them. He confessed that of course he needed to be attracted to his dating choices, but maybe he needed to start seeing a bit beyond that.
You know what…- If this friend of mine is actually being sincere and listens to his own self discoveries and advice – he’ll be married in no time! Now don’t get me wrong…I know that a boy has to be physically attracted to a girl! I’m not saying you have to ask some nasty girl out that you have zero attraction to. For this reason alone I work primarily with and through the men in matchmaking. If they aren’t attracted then the odds of something working out and chemistry being felt are slim to none. But- if my friend here works to develop some things other than looks that he is actually attracted to – I think he’ll see way more viable options for marriage surrounding him.
So…where’s the connection between President Packer’s counsel and my friend here? Study the doctrines of the gospel and your attitude and behavior will change. I firmly believe this is very true even in the case of dating. Will the Gospel make ugly girls hot? No -unfortunately I don’t think that is the case. But, what a man is attracted to and seeking can be altered (in the best of ways) and added upon! The men I know that have heeded this counsel have found themselves looking for, and then finding, the right one!